What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Can we trust the Bible when Constantine and the First Council of Nicaea took out many books of the Bible and altered existing translation by removing things?

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What exactly is the difference between a surge protector and a fuse? Can a fuse protect the electronic devices from lightning instead of surge protector?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

What is the reasoning behind conspiracy theorists claiming that there were multiple shooters involved in the JFK assassination?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why do I want to give up on men?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

True - how I loved my mum!